For the past week, I have been crutching my way around the world and one thing quickly became painfully obvious. The world is not meant for people on crutches. Between the small aisles at stores, the general public wandering around in a tweeting induced haze and a general inability (on my part) to open doors with one hand while gliding through and avoid getting smacked in the rear, I am over it. On my most frustrating evening, an attempt to simply do laundry almost turned me into one of those shrieking banshees after a crutch caught the pad of a misbehaving swifter and sent me and my damaged hoof flying into the thankfully closed bathroom door.
For the less than mobile, my house is a death trap.
When you’re working on one good foot and two slightly demented metal ones, small things become insanely difficult. Little tiny things like: picking a leash off the floor, walking up and down stairs that don’t have a railing, getting anything out of the tiny fridge become giant tasks that involve a huge amount of effort. And this is before your account for the cables and towels that try to wind their way around your crutch while walking. It’s like living in Jumanji – one minute you’re a regular person and the next minute you’re trapped in the floor.
So this is what we’re focusing on. Not the prettiest or most fun stuff in the world, but the most functional. Easy to clean, easy to reach, cutting back the vines from a seated position (hopefully with a beer in my hand).
I leave for work after my sexy man, so every morning I have to take the dogs out. This shouldn’t be hard, but Charlie is afraid of crutches, has to be leashed and doesn’t know what come means. This is made even more difficult when I have to spend twenty freaking minutes picking up a leash from the floor. You now, because I can’t drop a crutch or make a noise or put weight on my right foot, or worse twist the ankle at all, because Charlie is afraid of crutches. If any of these things happen, either the crutch or I will make a loud noise and Charlie won’t come anywhere near me no matter how many treats I am holding.
It doesn’t look like much, but the groceries, leash and cat are a trap.
Right now, the easiest & cheapest solutions are the best solutions.
The shelf was $7.50 after a coupon), and we had the mirror on the floor in the entry way for a while. The shelf was painted a navy blue to hopefully make it less country looking, but whatever. I can reach the dog leash and not die. For that, I am happy.
We also have a pile of umbrellas hanging out by the front door, for rain and stuff. For months we have been wandering around hoping for some sort of miracle device that could keep my from knocking them over or tripping on them every morning.
Finally I uncovered this mythical device:
I know, I know, the room still looks sad. Looking at the photos (sorry, it’s a crazy dark room and it’s rainy) I can tell that the wainscoting needs to go all the way through the entryway and on both sides of the stairs. This is the never – ending project.