Some days the projects go smoothly. They follow the chicken scratch I call a plan and just sorta work out. Poof. Kittens and glitter. Some days the project morphs in a pile of tuba players piling up like dominoes on the field during a half time show.
Behold! Thy name is cluster fuck.
I have been putting off dealing this damage from a leaky pipe. The pipe was repaired over a year ago. The ceiling was just sorta left. I hired a drywall guy and he put up some sheet rock and a base coat of plaster stuff and then he abandoned the project and I resigned myself to a life of intentionally looking at the floor every time I entered my home.
A year later, it was time to finish the mess. Matching the ceiling texture is not nearly as easy as YouTube makes it seem.
The home depot squisher didn’t work. It didn’t match when it was goopy or wet and dry or thin and goopy or dry and thin or all combinations of the above. It didn’t match when it was twisted a little and smooshed hard, or smooshed less hard and twisted a little or only applied pressure on the twist or a twist with no pressure and thin paste. I am amazed my liver still functions.
With each twist and attempt, I got more desperate. Is this it? Is this where I have to call the crazy expensive but awesome contractor who knows how to fix things like ceilings? Could I even afford him if I called him? Should I rip down the ceiling and do a non textured finish? Can I just glue something to the ceiling that would hide all of the texture and the repair? Would that something fall from the ceiling and maimed one of us as we took the pooches on an early morning bathroom break? Would the ER believe it was an accident? Would Charlie escape and wander the neighborhood while I lay unconscious and unable to call the ER?
This is exactly how my mind works. 46 out of the 47 people who live inside my head all debating the merits of each option. Thankfully the 17th person is a rabid Googler. While these questions were trying to be answered, the one sane personality started googling for salvation. And salvation it found in the form of All-Wall – Your Drywall Tools Super Store.
Turns out, the technique wasn’t my problem – it was the tool.
I ordered the stamp that matched my ceiling and went to town. First you roll a coat of plaster on the ceiling and then smoosh some plaster onto the stamp and stamp, exactly as the video described. The trick is not to judge the outcome until it’s painted. The new plaster will be like a beacon compared to older ceiling paint, so hold off your judgments until everything is painted in a crisp white paint.
Then, just for fun, paint the walls, because you can, for the kittens and glitter.
Any idea on what to do with the floor?